What should couples talk about? (2023)

What are couples supposed to talk about?

Memories

Whether it's a conversation about your childhood or mentioning memories as they come up in daily life, sharing memories is something all happy couples do. Your past is a big part of what shaped you as a person, so it's only natural that a spouse would want to relive it with you.

General Questions For Couples

What's the most interesting fact you've recently learned about? What's your favorite things to eat for lunch? What's the most unexpected thing that's happened to you lately? What do you like most about your job?

Relationship dynamics will go up and down based on communication, compromise and commitment, the 3C's.

The 5 "As": Acceptance, Affection, Appreciation, Approval, and Attention: The Journey to Emotional Fulfillment.

Although relationships tend to differ from couple to couple, the trademark of any healthy romantic partnership comes in the form of five specific pillars on which everything else must be built, namely: love, trust, communication, intimacy, and integrity.

How do couples keep conversation going?

Use open-ended questions.

Avoid yes-or-no questions to keep the conversation flowing. Counselor Heidi McBain recommends a few example open-ended inquiries: What did you do this morning at work? Where did you go for lunch? What was the highlight of your day?

Deep Conversation Starters for Couples

What do you value most about our relationship? You're stressed… how do you react in that moment and why? What are your financial goals for the future? Is there anything you would consider a deal breaker in a relationship?

Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.

Even the closest romantic partners can occasionally run out things to talk about with each other. Although you might think this means that your relationship has run its course, it's natural to feel a little stuck in the chatting department from time to time.

Problems with time management, prioritisation and external stresses are some of the most subtle, pernicious reasons why communications can break down in an intimate relationship.

While it's totally fine if you and your boo chat on a daily basis, experts say that — in a healthy relationship — you shouldn't feel obligated to chat seven days a week.

Trust. One of the most important parts of a relationship is to trust one another completely. You have to be able to trust that they won't stray and you trust them with your feelings. You have to trust each other enough to be vulnerable on an emotional and physical level, too.

Communication issues and unrealistic expectations are two of the main reasons people find themselves falling out of love. But there are things that can be done to stop the fall. Relationships are hard work; they should be viewed as investments, particularly if there is a marriage.

Developing relationship-enhancing habits is an excellent way to protect it from deteriorating. The three A's for increasing relationship happiness include expressing appreciation, admiration, and affection. Consistency in conveying these will increase your individual and your relationship happiness.

What strengthens a relationship?

Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is a pivotal aspect of what keeps couples together. When you set healthy boundaries and your partner respects those boundaries and vice-versa, it builds trust, respect, intimacy, and communication in the relationship.

There are four different stages of conversations - Diverging, converging, deciding and convincing.

Crucial Conversations defines the “Fool's Choice” as either/ or choices. Those who make the “Fool's Choice” believe they have to choose between two outcomes or behaviors — but there are always options in dialogue.

Communication problems, time together, and money are common sources of conflict for couples. Couples often fight about issues regarding trust and sex early on, while those who have been together longer fight more about chores and habits.

Fighting and arguing is actually healthy in relationships

But, it doesn't have to end in competition and hurt feelings. Engaging in a disagreement offers both you and your partner an opportunity to explore a conversation more deeply than surface-level small talk.

Arguments (even frequent ones) don't mean your relationship is doomed. All couples fight. It's completely natural, and comes with the territory of being in a relationship. But when you find yourself bickering more than usual, it's natural to wonder, “How much fighting is too much?” and "Are we totally screwed?"

If your partner makes you angry, miserable, or bored often and if it is very hard for you to explain the reasons why you still love this person, it's an obvious sign that you should go your own path. If you feel suffocated in a relationship and if the negatives overshadow the positives, it's time to move on.

While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.

What are 4 types of relationships?

There are many different types of relationships. This section focuses on four types of relationships: Family relationships, Friendships, Acquaintanceships and Romantic relationships.

Mutual respect. Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person's boundaries. Trust. Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Having a motto for your relationship can help steer it in the right direction. It can remind you of what you need to do to have a successful relationship and who you need to be. It can help you and your partner to make goals and create strategies together.

Of all human bonds, the maternal bond (mother–infant relationship) is one of the strongest. The maternal bond begins to develop during pregnancy; following pregnancy, the production of oxytocin during lactation increases parasympathetic activity, thus reducing anxiety and theoretically fostering bonding.

The needs are: Love/Connection, Variety, Significance, Certainty, Growth, and Contribution. The first four needs are necessary for survival and a successful life. The last two needs (growth and contribution), are necessary to experience a fulfilled life.

So take them in the spirit in which they are offered, which is a lens to think about your own relationship. This blog is the first of a series on the 5 C's which are Chemistry, Commonality, Constructive Conflict, Courtesy and Commitment.

Signs of Bad Communication in a Relationship

They don't listen. They invalidate your feelings. They interrupt you in conversation. They offer unsolicited advice.

To avoid getting stuck in this neediness, practice being calm and clear. Look beyond the anger and defensiveness. Approach your partner from deeper emotions and try writing down what you really need. If you're hurt because you're lonely, then tell your partner directly that you need some time together.

What is unhealthy communication?

Avoiding, giving the silent treatment, storming off, ghosting, dismissing. Instead of: be curious, seek to understand, or ask for a timeout, self-soothe, know when you're flooded, communicate rather than shut down, check your thoughts, be aware this leads to more conflict not less or to giving up entirely.